I Dont Believe In “Trying For A ________”
If you dont know already I have three boys. People constantly tell/ask myself or my hubby if we are going to “Try for a Girl”. And my answer is pretty simple. No. There’s this thing with genetics that means we don’t get to “choose” what we have. We have always wanted four kids, and whatever we get is what we get.
At one time I wanted a girl. When I was told at twenty weeks (we found out all the genders a head of time) my first child was a boy I was slightly down. For some reason this thing was put in my head that I needed a girl, maybe its because I’m a girl myself. Then again with my second, I was still kind of saddened when it turned out to be another boy. Now before I go on here I’ll state, I LOVE my boys! By my third child I WANTED a boy. I no longer felt the need to have a girl. Having baby boys had been so special to me by then its all I wanted. I connect easier with boys. And they are so fun, and the love is forever. But eventually, I kinda figured out what made me feel sad when I was having boys, who i love having! The feeling wasn’t making sense.
Every time I’ve been pregnant in the past majority of people have said within the first few minutes of sharing our pregnancy news, that they hope we are having a girl. I guess that’s fair. People feel the need to have something new. I’m still unsure how it really effects them. I’ve never really felt like someone should have a *insert specific gender* unless maybe I was having that gender and it was a way to connect. To be clear, I have never really had anyone pregnant at the same time as me, so this hasn’t really been a mention on my part. Anyways, as I was having boys I felt like people were disappointed when the baby would turn out to be not what they hoped for. Almost like they wanted someone else, and got stuck with this other person. I felt the need to please.
I try and put myself in my boys shoes. I can’t imagine hearing people saying this over and over. It must make them feel like there’s something wrong with boys. Or like mom and dad should want something different. Right now they haven’t thought much on it. They are young. But if they knew better, man it would be annoying. I get that its an innocent question. Most people probably don’t think about it, but they don’t live hearing about it all the time.
I no longer feel the need to make people happy with what happens inside uterus. I will have whatever God gives me. Instead of asking people if they are going to try for a specific gender, I just ask if they are wanting more kids instead. Even that question I often wonder if its too far, like I have some kind of business asking someone about their uterus.
Anyways, I love my boys, I am pregnant with a fourth baby. We do know the gender, and yes nearly everyone has stated they want a girl again. I just say tough, we get what we get.